They may be told they “play the victim” when, in reality, they are the victim. Sometimes, terms like “victim mentality” can be used by abusers against a person who has survived very real abuse or trauma as a way of gaslighting them and making them feel unstable.
While some trauma survivors and real victims may appear to be stuck in victim mentality, this is not a personality flaw, laziness or a result of simply not trying hard enough to “think positive.” It’s important to note that terms like “victim complex” and “victim mentality” should never be used to dismiss the very real effects of trauma that result from a person being an actual victim of abuse, assault, or any other traumatic event. The person stuck in this mentality will act negative and spread that energy around them, and, as a result, people adopt a negative or aversive attitude toward them, which only worsens the cycle.
RELATED: 9 Scary Ways Narcissistic Victim Syndrome Traps You In A Bad Relationship The problem occurs when it gets out of control and the bad, unfortunate and painful aspects of life start to overshadow the hope, love and positivity that exist alongside the darkness. Negativity bias is the “notion that, even when of equal intensity, things of a more negative nature (unpleasant thoughts, emotions, or social interactions) have a greater effect on one’s psychological state and processes than neutral or positive things.” When good things happen, they tend to ignore or downplay them and instead focus on the negative aspects of the experience.Ī victim complex is a form of negativity bias, which is natural for human beings when kept in control. In other words, when someone is stuck in a victim complex, they can’t see that the circumstances and people around them are usually good. Victim mentality is “an acquired personality trait in which a person tends to recognize or consider themselves as a victim of the negative actions of others, and to behave as if this were the case in the face of contrary evidence of such circumstances.”
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Let’s discuss victim mentality, how it happens, how to know if you are stuck in a victim complex, and how to deal with victim mentality in others, as well as the difference between feeling victimized as an actual survivor of abuse or trauma versus being stuck in a negative thought pattern. People stuck in victim mentality may also have a martyr complex, which is when a person actively seeks out conflict or the feeling of being persecuted in order to maintain their identity as the victim.
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